HIGH SILLINESS IN THE LAND OF THE FREE
Volume 85 July 19, 2020
My name is Covid
A Narrative by Mr. Covid-19 aka W.V.
By Dr. Max Allen
|I prefer to be called, WV., for Wuhan Virus|
My real name is CoNv-Omega,
that’s the name I was given when I was born.
My birth was in a Petri dish in the basement of the Wuhan Virology
Institutes Level 4 Biological Laboratory.
Descended from a long line of Corona (cold) viruses I was built to virulent, with a long
incubation period, and generally speaking a low morbidity rate. For those of you out there who don’t know
what ‘low morbidity rate’ means: a low morbidity rate means that a very low
percentage of people who contract me will actually die.
Somewhere in the womb of my
laboratory existence in Wuhan, I
escaped the concrete and steel bonds of my birth. I was carried, most likely by accident, to
the Meat Market on the outskirts of Wuhan. There I
spread like wildfire, free to roam as I would from host to host, leaving my
antibody footprint wherever I went. I
Weeks later, some folks got
sick. Remember that most of the vendors
in the meat market are malnourished, weakened from underlying conditions, and
largely senior citizens. They were not
ready for me, “Super Cold” to enter their systems. Almost exclusively through their eyes, but
also to some extent their noses and mouths, I went to work combing with and
aggravating pre-existing conditions and impaired immune systems. I was growing and growing and growing! What an amazing experience!
Through rail, air, and sea
traffic I became a globe trotter and in only a matter of weeks had implanted my
offspring in every country in the world!
I was famous! As people sickened,
and a few even died, I became known as Covid-19 (although I prefer to be
called “WV” for Wuhan Virus) …
catchy isn’t it!
So I moved along and in no
time my offspring virii had entered the systems of virtually everyone in the
world. I, the ‘super cold’ was
alive and well! I watched as the
headlong rush to find a vaccine or cure for me left the gates and raced ahead
at full speed! With a morbidity rate
only a fraction of a percentage point I wondered why the world was so
panicked. I couldn’t understand why I, a
simple exaggerated cold virus, could inspire more panic and hysteria than
influenza virii which regularly travel around the world killing and
hospitalizing so many more folks than I ever could! I wondered why, but not for long.
Soon it became obvious that
people in high places around the world, aided by newspapers, television, radio,
social media, and virtually every communications outlet were making hay from me! They seized upon the idea of misrepresenting
me to be the horrific murderer of millions.
They began to invent facts and figures so that the less educated and
more easily manipulated would believe their lies!
I am not the killer beast ‘worse
than any pandemic in history’ that I am painted to be. Scientists and doctors are regularly
silenced, muzzled, and even blacklisted when they try to tell the truth about
me. But, despite the incredible
censorship I am seeing the truth in more and more places as people are slowly
waking up to find the idiocy of these agenda-driven lies.
My morbidity rate is so low,
and the lack of autopsy information makes it impossible to see just home many
folks I have helped kill. Remember that I alone cannot
kill, it’s the pneumonia instigated by underlying conditions interacting with
me, the Wuhan Virus … or maybe it’s the flu, or maybe it’s COPD aggravated by a
combination of other symptoms …. or maybe, maybe, maybe.
Look around and see the
evidence that I am everywhere, in all places and in all bodies. When any person is given a COVID test which
already sports a 23% false positive result rate, they find what I and many
others already know. Many people and
myself have known for months that I and my offspring are everywhere in the
world. Like measles, chicken pox, or a
myriad of other virii, we leave behind our footprints and your bodies will use
this, as with others, to develop nature’s perfect vaccine … herd immunity.
It saddens me to see the
discovery of me and my progeny in more people being misrepresented as more
people recently infected. It is a
travesty that ‘discovery’ and ‘spread’ have come to be
interchangeable words in the vernacular of modern media distribution. Why can’t the truth come out? Why must so many people panic and launch into
hysteria over what is largely a false alarm?
I am Wuhan Virus, and it saddens me.
Most folks don’t understand
that I and my children have been losing potency and infectious transmission
power every day. Like a stone rolling
down the hill it eventually loses momentum, stops, and that’s it. Unlike an influenza (lucky dogs) which
hibernates in summer only to return again in winter, I will die in the summer,
my children will also die. We will lose
momentum even in the colder climates and finally my whole family line will die.
Don’t cry for me America. Weep not for
me people of the world. I am The Wuhan
Virus, and it’s been a wild ride.