Sunday, July 19, 2020

A PERSONAL NARRATIVE; 'MY NAME IS COVID'

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HIGH SILLINESS IN THE LAND OF THE FREE
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Volume 85                                 July 19, 2020
 
My name is Covid
A Narrative by Mr. Covid-19 aka W.V.
By Dr. Max Allen
I prefer to be called, WV., for Wuhan Virus
My real name is CoNv-Omega, that’s the name I was given when I was born.  My birth was in a Petri dish in the basement of the Wuhan Virology Institutes Level 4 Biological Laboratory.  Descended from a long line of Corona (cold) viruses I was built to virulent, with a long incubation period, and generally speaking a low morbidity rate.  For those of you out there who don’t know what ‘low morbidity rate’ means: a low morbidity rate means that a very low percentage of people who contract me will actually die.

Somewhere in the womb of my laboratory existence in Wuhan, I escaped the concrete and steel bonds of my birth.  I was carried, most likely by accident, to the Meat Market on the outskirts of Wuhan.  There I spread like wildfire, free to roam as I would from host to host, leaving my antibody footprint wherever I went.  I was free!

Weeks later, some folks got sick.  Remember that most of the vendors in the meat market are malnourished, weakened from underlying conditions, and largely senior citizens.  They were not ready for me, “Super Cold” to enter their systems.  Almost exclusively through their eyes, but also to some extent their noses and mouths, I went to work combing with and aggravating pre-existing conditions and impaired immune systems.  I was growing and growing and growing!  What an amazing experience!

Through rail, air, and sea traffic I became a globe trotter and in only a matter of weeks had implanted my offspring in every country in the world!  I was famous!  As people sickened, and a few even died, I became known as Covid-19 (although I prefer to be called “WV” for Wuhan Virus) … catchy isn’t it!

So I moved along and in no time my offspring virii had entered the systems of virtually everyone in the world.  I, the ‘super cold’ was alive and well!  I watched as the headlong rush to find a vaccine or cure for me left the gates and raced ahead at full speed!  With a morbidity rate only a fraction of a percentage point I wondered why the world was so panicked.  I couldn’t understand why I, a simple exaggerated cold virus, could inspire more panic and hysteria than influenza virii which regularly travel around the world killing and hospitalizing so many more folks than I ever could!  I wondered why, but not for long.

Soon it became obvious that people in high places around the world, aided by newspapers, television, radio, social media, and virtually every communications outlet were making hay from me!  They seized upon the idea of misrepresenting me to be the horrific murderer of millions.  They began to invent facts and figures so that the less educated and more easily manipulated would believe their lies!

I am not the killer beast ‘worse than any pandemic in history’ that I am painted to be.  Scientists and doctors are regularly silenced, muzzled, and even blacklisted when they try to tell the truth about me.  But, despite the incredible censorship I am seeing the truth in more and more places as people are slowly waking up to find the idiocy of these agenda-driven lies.

My morbidity rate is so low, and the lack of autopsy information makes it impossible to see just home many folks I have helped kill.  Remember that I alone cannot kill, it’s the pneumonia instigated by underlying conditions interacting with me, the Wuhan Virus … or maybe it’s the flu, or maybe it’s COPD aggravated by a combination of other symptoms …. or maybe, maybe, maybe.

Look around and see the evidence that I am everywhere, in all places and in all bodies.  When any person is given a COVID test which already sports a 23% false positive result rate, they find what I and many others already know.  Many people and myself have known for months that I and my offspring are everywhere in the world.  Like measles, chicken pox, or a myriad of other virii, we leave behind our footprints and your bodies will use this, as with others, to develop nature’s perfect vaccine … herd immunity.

It saddens me to see the discovery of me and my progeny in more people being misrepresented as more people recently infected.  It is a travesty that ‘discovery’ and ‘spread’ have come to be interchangeable words in the vernacular of modern media distribution.  Why can’t the truth come out?  Why must so many people panic and launch into hysteria over what is largely a false alarm?  I am Wuhan Virus, and it saddens me.

Most folks don’t understand that I and my children have been losing potency and infectious transmission power every day.  Like a stone rolling down the hill it eventually loses momentum, stops, and that’s it.  Unlike an influenza (lucky dogs) which hibernates in summer only to return again in winter, I will die in the summer, my children will also die.  We will lose momentum even in the colder climates and finally my whole family line will die.

Don’t cry for me America.  Weep not for me people of the world.  I am The Wuhan Virus, and it’s been a wild ride.

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