HOW INSANELY LONG INFOMMERCIALS ARE KILLING BROADCAST TELEVISION

HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO SELL AIR TIME?

It must be extremely difficult because of this …

https://rumble.com/v64qx34-shameless-infommercials-are-destroying-broadcast-television.html

When I watch broadcast television [may God help me] the most obvious thing is the incredible amount of time networks and local television use for commercials.  Yes, commercials, that interruption that wouldn’t be so damned difficult to handle if it didn’t occupy over 20 minutes out of every hour.

I am old enough to remember when TV commercials ran 30 or 60 seconds.  You knew that when a program went for a commercial break you had about 2 minutes.  That was enough time to get up, answer nature’s call, grab a cold soft drink from the fridge, and get back in time for the show to resume.

Nowadays you can get up, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, make a cold cut sandwich and grab a cold drink from the fridge.  As you walk casually back to the living room some infomercial or network promotion is still running.

When the go to a PSA for either children’s hospitals or animal rights and protection organizations you can be sure there’s damn near enough time to mow the lawn while you wait.  The surprising fact is that, as long as these PSAs are, they are aired for free.

The federal government mandates so many minutes a year to be used for public service but broadcast television more than fulfills even the most egregious requests of government.  Maybe they just can’t sell enough air time for commercials to make up the room so they grab a PSA and run it instead.

Okay, maybe it’s not just the ads.  But it is the public service announcements [PSAs] that make me crazy.  The length of the PSA and its content often make for the most grueling experience since water-boarding.

https://rumble.com/v64qx34-shameless-infommercials-are-destroying-broadcast-television.html

I turn on the TV [silly me] and there it is, a 4-minute PSA for Shriner’s Children’s Hospital.  Those 4 minutes seem to take 40 as they shamelessly parade an unending procession of crippled, maimed, disfigured, and acutely afflicted children.  The children’s plights are designed to tug at your heartstrings.  The makeup of the ad eventually centers on a little boy, a spokeschild.

The one that is like fingernails on a chalkboard is an arrogant little bastard [can such a young child be arrogant?] with blonde hair who sits in a wheelchair or goes over his history of surgeries.  Rather than tugging at my heartstrings it tugs at my brain and makes me want to punch him straight in the face.  It really does.

As this little ham-in-a-wheelchair hogs every possible camera opportunity as he speaks in a squeaky chipmunk voice that can only be understood by playing the tape at ½ speed with an addition of bass to his voice.  Not only is he unintelligible, but it’s that fingers on the chalkboard thing that makes him a horrible choice for spokes-child.

https://rumble.com/v64qx34-shameless-infommercials-are-destroying-broadcast-television.html

For the longest time this hospital used a dark-haired little boy, an excellent choice for a spokes-child.

He is articulate, well spoken, and seems a humble but brave child.  His story is inspirational.

His presence makes you want to hear what he has to say and even makes that 4-minutes seem more like the 4 that they are.  He is so unlike the blonde boy who is an affliction on unsuspecting viewers.

Okay, so the Shriner’s folks really need a new advertising agency, that’s clear.  I doubt they realize how many people they alienate with their “infomercials”.  And it’s not just the infomercials themselves, but how often they hit you with them.

It seems obvious television is having a hell of a time selling air time because they pepper the hour with not just 1 or 2 but as many as 4 public service announcements from such as Shriner’s Children’s Hospital, St. Jude Hospital, ASPCA, and an array of interminable PSAs as various charities tug at your heartstrings and pull at your purse strings.

When I watch the St. Jude PSAs, I’m not nearly as put off as I am with Shriner’s because they take a kinder and gentler approach to asking for support.  Their own brand of begging doesn’t annoy me nearly as much as the horribly scripted Shriner’s spots.

When I watch ASPCA propaganda it makes my stomach not only turn but do summersaults.  Here they have an endless parade of shivering, starving, dirty, maimed and neglected mongrels.  Dog after dog shows its face in a pathetic pose meant to separate you from your wallet.

They carefully pose dogs beside empty food dishes or behind a chain link fence.  Some famous or ‘once-famous’ person appears on the screen and begs you to “save a life” and to “rescue an animal” and that makes me crazy because …

These animals you see on television have more than likely been euthanized long before you see them on the small screen.  They tell you that your monthly contribution will “rescue” these poor animals.  But their definition of “rescue” isn’t necessarily your definition of “rescue.”

To “rescue” an animal they bathe it, medicate it, and provide for safe shelter and good food for the unfortunate animal.  This much is true.  Unfortunately the ASPCA is not a “No Kill” shelter and most of these animals are slaughtered only days or at most weeks from being “rescued.”

The ASPCA ads are often so bad and so long [another 4 minute foray into distasteful dishonesty] I wonder if they aren’t trying to euthanize me.

https://rumble.com/v64qx34-shameless-infommercials-are-destroying-broadcast-television.html

Summing it up:  The birth of the “infomercial” has dealt yet another death blow to broadcast television.  Whether it be for a new model vacuum cleaner or simply begging for money, these infomercials have become an interminable part of an even more interminable broadcast television environment.

Television stations and networks don’t charge these non-profit organizations for airing these PSAs.  In fact they are filling required time as established by the FCC.  However, these PSAs are given far more time than the federal government requires.

A lot more!  It can only mean that they are having one hell of a time selling commercial airtime.

Sell your infomercials to the lawyers, drug companies, automakers, and the like.  They’re really expensive but many businesses feel they are a good investment.  All I ask is, “PLEASE SPARE ME THE 4-MINUTE PSAs.”

I’m Max, and that’s the way I see it!