FEW THINGS RUIN A NICE MEAL MORE COMPLETELY

 THE MAX ALLEN REPORT

Volume #03070905                             March 7, 2023

DOESN'T IT MAKE YOUR @SS HURT?

Trying to eat out without barfing can be a challenge

I love many different foods, but don't consider myself a foodie [foodie: a 'gourmet wannabe'] or a gourmet.  I just love what my mouth loves.  I eat out at the big box places like Burger King and Taco Bell, but I also like eating at local diners and sometimes three and four star restaurants.  Lately I have 'self-banned' eating at many of these places because people in general seem to have thrown their table manners out with their appearance.

I can't stand the slurping, chomping and overall noise of this new generation of pigs.  It seems the uncouth have taken over many of my formerly favourite places to eat, forcing me to either eat in my car or pony up the dough for a nice enough restaurant that the uncouth of whom I speak are either forbidden entry or just won't afford the rates.

In any case, the bad manners, slovenly appearance and dress, and the 'back to the jungle' prevalence of tattoos, piercings, and rudeness have pushed me out of my formerly favourite places and into a new venue.

In the words of my sainted grandmother, "It makes my @ss hurt!"

I'm Max, and that's the way I see it!