The idiocy and the odyssey of Daylight Savings Time

 THE MAX ALLEN REPORT

Volume #031411440                             March 14, 2023

ONE STEP FORWARD AND ONE STEP BACK

The idiocy and the odyssey of Daylight Savings Time

Here we go, it's time to turn our clocks, watches, and other timepieces ahead an hour.  Yes, we've lost an hour of our day as we trade the time ... and expense ... for that extra hour of evening daylight.  "Gee" you say, "Aren't we losing an hour of sunrise daylight?"  Why, yes Billy, we are.  And that's expensive.

You see most people in the Western World live by the clock.  Clocks and timepieces guide us through our routines from day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year ... and so on.  Indeed, the industrialised world mostly consisting of the United States, Great Britain and her colonies, and Western Europe in general have formed a 'time addiction' based on the 24-hour day.

I don't mind watches myself.  No, I have a tidy collection of watches ranging from my 'old faithful' Citizen 7 Eagle to my 'impress others' Rolex Cellini.  When I go swimming, I wear a Casio Marlin.  I'm not really sure why since there are huge clocks posted at each end of the pool.  When I am working outdoors I wear my 'extremely rugged and reliable' Armitron Automatic.  When I go formal I wear my 'show off' Rolex Submariner.  When I wax nostalgic I wear my gold tone LED 'Kojak' watch.  Wow!  I wax Timex!

My neighbour has a Bavarian Cuckoo Clock and another friend has a Hamilton Grandfather Clock.  We are indeed surrounded by time itself as defined by the 24-hour day.  Take a drive down Main Street and you won't get far before you see the time of day - right or wrong - displayed on billboards and advertising signs of various content.

Time - time - time!  It's maddening!  Okay, so yesterday I left my watch in its winder in the bedroom and decided to try and have a 'day' to myself.  I relaxed in my studio with the clock on the wall turned around.  "Aah," I sighed a sigh of relief.  Then it happened!  My mobile phone rang.  I took it from its holster on the wall and, clearly displayed on the screen was the TIME OF DAY!  Surrendering to what must surely be a confidence game invented by the Swiss; I turned the clock around, donned my Submariner watch, and relegated myself once again to the 24-hour day.

As you can see, there's really no escaping time as measured by the clock.  As you see time not only marches on but ticks and toks!  From the chiming of a mantle clock to the soft cooing of a cuckoo clock, time goes on and on and on.  I am a victim of time and have officially surrendered to it!  There you go Father Time, you win this round!

With Time as my master I realize what I have surrendered and that which I have forsaken.  With Father Time at my elbow I have almost entirely bowed to his will.  But ... then there's Daylight Savings Time!

Daylight Savings Time!  I'm sure the ghosts of many a Swiss watchmaker [those quiet old men with gold frame glasses who assemble the finest clock and watch mechanisms in the world] are turning over in their graves every time we set our clocks back or forward an hour!  Change time to fit the season?  Ludicrous!  Idiotic!  Insane!  Yet we do this every year come rain or shine, sanity not withstanding.

According to the American Standards Institute, the switch to or from Daylight Savings Time costs people over 186 billion dollars [$186B] a year in lost time, missed appointments, and tardiness at the workplace.  It's not just the time spent going around the house resetting clocks.  [My buddy Craig has have eleven wrist watches, four pocket watches, a clock in every room in the house, clocks in both cars and both motorcycles] and understandably he's not terribly happy with Daylight Savings Time either.

Here's the really 'Grape Ape' question:  Why?  Why in Hell do we put up with the idiocy of changing our clock times twice a year!  Why do we put ourselves through this?  I suppose for the very young who don't even wear a watch, relying instead on their phones, it's no big deal.  But for nostalgics like Craig and me, possessing numerous clocks and watches all of which rely on automatic or mechanical wind mechanisms and display time with hands on a clock face [not digits on a screen], it's a royal pain in the [sound effect of ass braying].

We're told by our professional liars in government that this switch to Daylight Savings time saves energy.  They say it means we turn our lights on later in the day and it means workers work an extra hour of daylight saving inestimable uncountable amounts of money.  Wait!  Do you really believe that crap?  In the words of our brain damaged and addled president, "C'mon man!"

Farmers work by the rise and set of the sun, so Daylight Savings Time means absolutely nothing to them.  Those of us on a time schedule wake earlier in Daylight Time so we have to turn our lights on an hour earlier anyway!  Hey, an hour earlier or an hour later the self-imposed darkness of Daylight Savings Time only means more inconvenience and not a penny saved.

Let's go back to that $186B dollars it costs us in switching and adjusting to the switches every year.  Let's ask ourselves if that isn't a whole lot more expensive than just leaving our clocks alone!  Hey, people ... Leave our clocks alone!

I'm Max, and that's the way I see it!