MUTANT CATTLE ON THE MOVE IN AUSTRALIA

 THE MAX ALLEN REPORT

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Volume #07242022-1315                              July 24, 2022

‘SMART COWS’ ON THE ‘MOO’VE

Genetic experimentation has taken a radical turn in Australia

Australia’s scientific research agency, CSIRO, has admitted to the creation of a ‘super cow’.  This is a cow that is bigger, stronger, more resistant to disease, and a whole lot smarter!  The problem is … it got away!  After some work, I managed to reach research scientist Dr. Philip Silverstein who told me, “This animal’s intelligence and ability to learn and adapt are not to be underestimated.  It has an IQ equivalency of around 140 which puts it well into the genius category and brighter than most people on the planet.”

Dateline Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia -- Somewhere in the countryside surrounding the peaceful town of Rockhampton, ‘Zeus’ the super cow escaped from his Queensland holding pen at CSIRO's previously top secret agricultural research station outside of Rockhampton at about midnight on the night of July 15^th of this year.  Zeus also took three heifers with him.

What is worthy of note is that this ‘super cow’ knew enough to work the latch on the gate even locking it behind him, and to avoid leaving tracks or making noise during the course of his escape.

With harem in tow, Zeus quietly and stealthily led his heifers across the soft grassy ground surrounding their enclosure as he made good his escape.  According to David Wilder, Research Assistant at the facility, “Zeus and his mates left no tracks and made no noise getting away.  It’s almost like he knew where, when, and how to get out without making noise or leaving any tracks.  It kinda scares me, just a little, because cameras showed the whole thing and wow, know what I mean?”

One can only speculate what kind of genetic mutation has been created and if the heifers aren’t equally intelligent and, as with Zeus, cagey!  It's been over a week since Zeus’ small herd escaped.  To date they're still nowhere to be found.

We at Max Allen Media will keep you abreast of this unusual story as information comes to light.  Needless to say, CSIRO [Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization] is now keeping a tight lid on their ‘super cow’ research and related happenings, but we’ll see if we can’t loosen that lid as soon as possible.

Keep on keeping on and check for regular updates here at www.maxallenshow.com 

I’m Max, and that’s the way I see it!