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CYNOPHILIA QUIZ
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Cynophilia is a mental condition. It literally means “… having an abnormal or unhealthy attraction to dogs.” If this description fits you, seek help. In the Mountain West of America particularly, this disease is widespread. It might even be labelled ‘epidemic’ due to the incredible number of people who regard their dogs as literal ‘family’ in every sense of the word.
Interesting numbers according to the American Society of Mental Health Practitioners’ publication: “70% of the 73% of dog owners in the Northwestern United States consider their animals to be as much family as children, spouses, and siblings.” That’s nuts!
I’m not gonna sugar coat this one.
● Does your dog live in the house? Okay, I guess so, but it’s not a very sanitary practice but, okay. I guess.
● Does your dog sleep in bed with you? Whoa! This is unhealthy, unsanitary, and unnatural. Get help!
● Do you shower or bathe or hot tub with your dog? Dear God in Heaven seek professional help as soon as possible!
Last but not least, the burning question of the decade …
● Are you intimate with your dog … you know, in a conjugal way? Sick! Sick! Sick! Go to the nearest psychiatric hospital and check your ‘Cyno’ self in for extensive treatment.
Dogs can be fun as pets. They can be great companions. They can work and perform many tasks. But they can even be regarded, loosely, as man’s best friend. Okay to all of the above …. but … they are NEVER family! That’s just plain stupid.
I’m Max, and that’s the way I see it!
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